Will Quicken Loans Sell my MortgageBe Accelerating Loans Sell My Mortgage
Detroiter (2017) p02e08 Episode script
- Yes. - Mmm. Say, Judy Thompson, VP of Marketing, Quicken Loans? - You guys. Do you know Ryan Lepchek from Doner Advertising? What is it, people? This is our customer Kathy from Sidewall Windows. The Quicken Loans are doing a new federal election drive. - Okay, we're in. Halfway there.
- Yeah, people, it's not uh, uh, missile mortgage, baggage. Missile mortgages, uh, quick as a missile. Yeah, he's quite literally the world' s quickest man, so oh, folks, I' m sorry to keep this brief. Kebab canvassing. Damn Don. And he said, "Doner kebab. "I' ll say it. I' m going to! -Oh, yeah.
Yes, it is. You' re gonna go to prison one of these days. The next that they ask you where you're from," Detroit City says, "when we get back on our feet, yeah, I never said I saw Big Bird. Yeah, well, I saw that. Yeah, I know, everybody has, I know that.
The Medicinal Weight Loss I Medicinal Weight Loss was created to help individuals reach their ideal body. Kebab kebab made it, Brah-Brah. Kebab? Did you leave us for kebab? That Lepchek dude said he could grow my deal by 15%. Yeah,'cause if we hadn't put that in, we wouldn't have had enough gear.
Lepchek. You woke the bitch, and now the bitch is gonna eat you back. It'?s Ryan Lepchek. - You know, I didn't want to do it anyway. You big, fatty sip of shit, Ryan Lepchek. Stolen our patron, man. People, that's how commercials work. Stealing each other's clientele. We' ll discuss this later.
Now you see that we know how the games are done, we will do it ourselves. Now, folks, if you think you're going to beat by gambling, you've already won, so damn hell. Yeah, he's leaving because he knew. - Well, yeah, definitely. Yeah, uh, we are representing a small company that's not that small in terms of talents.
Yes, and if you're looking for a company that appreciates individuals more than the end result - Not interested. Hey, you want to go to Dan? Ah, don' t suck, don't suck, mate. As if it went so fast. I' m a customer of Doner's. Here at Funnydo, we loathe our customers! Yes, we run Cramblin duvets, and we always show our customers our utmost esteem and never have them thrown out by our guards without a good cause.
Folks, there's a micro-wave in there where folks are eating. Be cautious, there's tail bloody all over. - Now, you need me, let me know. Yeah, tell that to your cellie, man. From one to ten, how lucky are you with Doner's services? What? I think he said on a one to ten graduation, how lucky are you with your duty at Dan?
- It'?s what I use all the while. They say that this is Boner Advertising and they are not looking for customers. Yeah, maybe we'll say we work for free because, I mean, it's not about the cash. - Oh, no. It's about taking it from Doner. Yeah, once they're in the van, we can tell them anything we want.
- Sacred crap, you're Allen Hark. Heard you were trying to rob one of Doner's customers. There is a fundamental difference between the way our kids will be raised and the way we are now. Yeah, I'm not even seriously going out with anyone right now. - His kisses are great. Well, I was at Doner's today.
The boy, Lepchek? want to pick up a weapon for a kid's anniversary celebration. - We would. But we would. - We' re your people. - That'?s right. Deal me that graphite marker. Deal me the crayon. You see every single damn minute, sell me your crayon.
Okay, I'll sell you my goddamn automobile. Sell me the crayon. Now, yes, exactly. If you already own it, how can we sell it to you? - But it was still a lot of pleasure. You' re starving, and that's a good thing, because, gents, I built the automobile of the fucking future.
You' re gonna help me sell it. Hey, Susan, short one. Lepchek! I mean, no offence, but how did you boys end up Hark Motors? - It'?ll be burying you, stealing all your Mm. I' m just hearing what these businessmen have to say.
Yeah, but you're our customer. - May be helpful for humans. Yeah. I don't know what kind of competition you think we have, but frankly, I only want the best for you. "It had the hippest name of any in the shop. Hello, Allen. Have a good one, Allen.
Hi, Allen. Now, uh, Allen, when do we get a look at this new one? Everything will be betrayed after supper. It'?s not to slander what you do, but this vehicle will sell itself. Have a good one, Allen. - [ Chuckles ] Hello, Allen. Well, this car's gonna be carton.
As soon as folks begin to buy the automobile, there will be no end to the moneys. Okay, how much do you think guys are gonna be paying for a fucking ride? Lepchek about you. So Lepchek tells you to sign us up? Goodbye, Allen. Yeah, I mean, maybe they want a $1 million shit auto.
Yeah, maybe. - Right. He'd probably let me do it for about $500. - I will not. I won't. I' m sorry, Mr. Lepchek, I tried to stop you. What can I do to help, boys? Allen Hark to sign us up to sell his shitty fucking ride so we can get some laughs. People, frankly, that wasn't my intent, all right?
We' re gonna rob you now. Yeah, something from this offiice. Yes, it is. Okay, what are you gonna thieve? I' m gonna nick your notebook. Good luck to you. Lepchek, get an ass! I really like these fellas a lot.